Frequently Asked Questions

Each year most of us are just dying to get away for a holiday of fun and adventure with family and/or friends. Going to the Knights of Nee Initiations is literally the most fun you’ll have all year because it combines good old fashion camping fun with the entertainment factor of the wildest initiation ceremony that you could ever imagine! There are activities designed for individuals of all ages from two to toothless. The Knights of Nee are the nicest group of people you will ever meet. Everyone comes to the Initiations with a full year of anticipation of what wacky events the Kings and the planning committee will have in store for them. For most of us, it is the one time of year that we can forget about work and responsibilities and share an awesome weekend of fun and camaraderie with our friends.

A typical initiation long weekend goes as follows: people arrive anytime Friday and sometimes Saturday morning to set up their tent or RV. Many who wish to win a prize for the best dressed campsite will arrive as early as Wednesday to begin constructing their works of art (eg. Cave with bones and killer bunny pelts, Swamp Castle, Church complete with graveyard and a chalice in the steeple, Monks Casino, etc.). Friday evening is very casual for most, as friends greet one another and Scum begin to learn what the weekend is all about. At midnight, approx. 20 people will play a Paintball game by the moonlight using two different colored glow sticks to differentiate between the teams.

Saturday morning many will sleep-in while others wake-up and prepare for an afternoon of paintball (approx. 20% of the club still plays paintball). The children’s activity centre opens around 1pm while most of the Scum are eagerly earning Serve-Atude Dollars or Scum-Bucks, as some call them. Saturday morning and afternoon everyone goes to the Kings campground to register themselves and to receive their information packages, t-shirts, trinkets, and Serve-Atude bucks. After Saturday’s dinner people put on their costumes and get in line for the parade that leads us to the ruins. Out in front of the parade is our bagpiper and the Kings, who are usually being dragged, pulled or carried in one contraption or another by a few worthy Scum. The parade leads the group to the ancient ruins of Princeton Castle where everyone grabs a seat and waits for the initiations to begin. The initiations are usually over by 1am and afterwards some retreat to a warm sleeping bag while most stay up and: sit by a campfire talking, mingling around the Monks Casino, eating chili, drinking beverages, and singing songs.

King Robb

Sunday morning there are very few that wake up too early and the afternoon is set aside for river rafting adventures, go cart races, the children’s activity centre and Scum earning Serve-Atude dollars. On Sunday evening everyone goes back down to the ruins for another night of fun. On the list of activities are: drama skits, re-initiating the worst Scum, a talent contest, handing out prizes, and playing Human Stratego! In the past, we have played Human Chess, Battleship, and Othello. Each is a popular board game except we use real people holding pie plates full of whipping cream as board pieces. The Kings play against one another ordering pieces to attack others. Eliminated pieces are pied by their opponent and then leave the board to wash their face, etc. Last year we used 48 litres of whipping cream! After the game, again we retire to our campsites where we repeat Saturday night’s rituals with the knowledge that many of us will not see each other again for another whole year. Emotions run high (at least in our hearts) and it seems as if there is never enough quality time, like Princeton brings to spend with your friends and family.

Monday everyone helps clean up their campsite and the ruins. And after many teary good-byes we go back to reality.

The Knights of Nee are a very diverse group of people. 40% of us are between the ages of 40 and 65. Another 40% are between the ages of 16 and 40, while 9% are under 16 and the remaining 11% are over 65 years old. We all enjoy good clean fun. Drinking moderate amounts of alcohol is OK and enjoyed by most but being rowdy and loud is not. Our club includes retired couples, city counselors, police officers, computer and fantasy gamers, single parents developing relationships with their teenagers, church pastors, and entire families whose young kids can hardly wait till they’re old enough to become a Knight!

Previous initiations:

Princeton Castle RV Park can be found a short 2.5 hours away from Vancouver, BC, Canada. It offers the usual range of camping facilities including washrooms, electricity, insects, hot and cold showers, campfires, miniature golf, a not-so crystal pond, and ancient ruins. Princeton Castle also has a number of log cabins for rent and a wonderful bed and breakfast facility. Recently they completed the construction of a bocci and volleyball pit, and a swimming pool. The campground is only 5 minutes from downtown Princeton where you can find last minute camping supplies and stock up on food and drink. There are also a number of decent restaurants to eat at if campfire food conjures up thoughts of too much effort. Nearby, there is also a river that many return to each year for their annual river run. So bring your air mattress!

Paintball is the game whereby players don protective goggles and paintball guns primed with round gelatin filled balls that break upon impacting ones opponent. The object of a paintball game usually involves two teams competing for each others flag in a popular childhood game called ‘Capture the Flag’. First team back with the other teams flag wins. At Princeton Castle there is a large open field, with trees splattered about, which we use to play our games. Friday at around midnight there is usually two or three short games played whereby players wear bright glow sticks to distinguish one another. On Saturday and Sunday at around 12pm another 4 to 6 games are played for those who prefer the light of day to see their opponents. Paintball is truly a blast and as long you pre-arrange it, you can even rent the equipment you need.

The initiations begin with the Monks bringing forward the official sacraments: the Holly Book (yes, it is spelled incorrectly) & the Holy hand grenade. King Robb reads aloud the ‘Story of the Knights of Nee’ and then describes how the initiations will proceed. One by one, and sometimes in groups ranging from 2 to 6, initiates/Scum are called forward and asked and asked 3 skill testing questions including why they want to become a Knight of Nee, and some other very easy questions…

Note: knowing the movie ‘The Holy Grail’ is very helpful here. Be sure to study each and every frame including the correct wording to each of the opening and closing credits, in fact, having the original script at your disposal is also helpful.

Unlike the ‘Bridge of Death’ scene in Monty Python’s movie ‘The Holy Grail’ whereby wrong answers get you tossed into a fiery pit, your benevolent Kings will give you a chance to redeem yourself by performing an initiation or a sacred quest. To decide which initiation a Scum receives they have been tied to an 8 foot high standing roulette wheel and spun head over heels until one of the Kings puts a stop to the madness. In some years the wheel has been numbered for initiations, and in other years painted in colors offering up easy to hard initiations. Last year ‘The Wheel’ was retired to punishments-only, so that a new system could be introduced. Now initiates enter a huge spinning exercise wheel, like the kind you find in a hamster cage, and run for their life. The new wheel is attached to a circuit which gauges the speed of the wheel. As the wheel speeds up, display lights change from Red to Yellow and, if you’re lucky, Green. The faster you get the wheel to spin the easier your initiation will be. Inside the wheel is a harness system to ensure you don’t slip and hurt yourself. Last year one guy ran so fast that centrifugal force allowed them to run upside down! After completing your initiation you will go before your Kings and kneel down upon one knee. King Robb will dub you with his sword, acknowledge the successful completion of your initiation and then grant you your new Knight name. Upon receiving your Knight name you will then rise uttering thy sacred battle cry … NEE … and forever more be known as a brave and noble Knight of Nee! The next day you may sign your new Knight name to our ‘Tree of Life’.

WORRY! No really, it is written in the Holly Book that all subjects within The Realm are considered to be Worthless Vermin Scum before they are transformed into gallant Knights by their most royal and humble Kings. It’s nothing personal. Really.

The rite of a Scum is an honoured tradition that all deserving subjects must endure before they may enter the Kingdom of The Knights of Nee, and consequently get to cajole and harass future generations of Scum.To begin with, you should be aware of the fact that on Sunday night one (or more) Scum will be re-initiated for their lack of loyalty and participation! Throughout the weekend each Scum will be competing to earn Serve-Atude dollars (Scum Bucks) from existing Knights. The Bank of Nee has graciously extended a $200 line-of-credit to each Knight of Nee for the purposes of creating commerce in Scum services. So what is the value of a Scum Buck? The real value of a Scum Buck is dictated by normal market forces. In other words, you must barter for the value of your services; but, if another Scum is willing to do a service for a lower price, then you will lose the sale and risk Judgement Day on Sunday night. The Kings would like to advise all Scum that the bartering process is between you and the Knights and you retain the final right of refusal of any requested service. However, refusing a service requested by a King is, at least potentially, not such a good idea. Finally, on Sunday night, all Scum will be asked to submit their Scum Bucks to their Kings. After a royal reckoning has been done, the Scum(s) with the least amount of Scum Bucks will be re-initiated! The most horrible initiation is routinely held in reserve for this deserving Scum. It should also be noted here that the initiate with the most Scum Bucks & the best attitude will win a prize valued at over $400 real dollars! Your eager participation in the Scum Buck program will certainly bring joy to all Knights within The Realm and your Kings feel that the most worthy Scum should be adequately rewarded.

Other requirements that Scum should be aware of include a $50 fine for the failure of wearing your Scum Badge (excluding showers). The fine may be requested from any Knight who catches a Scum without their Scum Badge. Scum who refuse to pay the fine will be reported to the Kings and punishment is theirs to assign. All Scum who are Knighted during Saturday’s initiations are STILL REQUIRED to wear their Scum Badges until the royal collection of Scum Bucks is completed Sunday.

ALL SCUM ARE REQUIRED to participate in a skit to be enacted during Sunday nights Talent Contest. The content and theme of the skit will be announced Saturday night.

On initiation night, each Scum will be required to correctly answer three skill-testing questions. If you get them all right you will be immediately Knighted, however, if you get any wrong your gracious Kings will give you a chance to redeem yourself by performing an initiation. Good luck!

In the year 871 AD a group of Scottish settlers “Clan McWilliam” discovered this area and built their Castle to fend off a large band of local Indians. No one is quite sure how these Scottish settlers arrived to this area but the legacy of their existence is still with us today. The Ruins were first discovered in 1857 by Lee Howard who was the wagon train master of an expedition from Manitoba on route to California. Many artifacts such as swords, goblets, kilts and jewelry may be found in The National Museum of Portland, Oregon as the expedition was wiped out by a band of Comanche’s on the Plains of Monashee. Since the Castles’ first discovery, its contents were continually looted by miners and other prospectors to the point where the only remains of the early Scottish settlers are the walls that you see. For more detailed information, just ask Karen at the Bed & Breakfast.