Princeton Initiation Question & Answers

So what is the Princeton weekend all about?

Who are the Monks?

Who comes to Princeton?

Who are the Nymphs of Nee?

What facilities are there for camping?

"They say I'm a Worthless Vermin Scum! What should I do?"

What is Paintball?

Is Princeton Castle Really A Castle?

What happens at the initiations? Should my children watch?

Dear Wizard:

Who are the Kings?

Scum and Knights Testimonials

So what is the Princeton weekend all about?

Each year most of us are just dying to get away for a holiday of fun and adventure with family and/or friends. Going to Princeton with the Knights of Nee is literally the most fun you'll have all year because it combines good old fashion camping fun with the entertainment factor of the wildest initiation ceremony that you could ever imagine! There are activities designed for individuals of all ages from two to toothless. The Knights of Nee are the nicest group of people you will ever meet. Everyone comes to Princeton with a full year of anticipation of what wacky events the Kings and the planning committee will have in store for them. For most of us, it is the one time of year that we can forget about work and responsibilities and share an awesome weekend of fun and camaraderie with our friends.

A typical Princeton long weekend goes as follows: People arrive anytime Friday and sometimes Saturday morning. They set up their tent or RV. Many who wish to win a prize for the best dressed campsite will arrive as early as Wednesday to begin constructing their works of art (eg. Cave with bones and killer bunny pelts, Swamp Castle, Church complete with graveyard and a chalice in the steeple, Monks Casino, etc.). Friday evening is vary casual for most as friends greet one another and Scum begin to learn what the weekend is all about. At midnight, approx. 20 people will play a Paintball game by the moonlight using two different colored glow sticks to differentiate between the teams.

Saturday morning many will sleep in while others wake-up and prepare for an afternoon of paintball (approx. 20% of the club still plays paintball). The children's activity centre opens around 1PM while most of the Scum are eagerly earning Serve-Atude Dollars or Scum-Bucks, as some call them. Saturday morning and afternoon everyone goes to the Kings campground to register themselves and to receive their information packages, t-shirts, trinkets, and Serve-Atude bucks. After Saturday's dinner people put on their costumes and get in line for the parade that leads us to the ruins. Out in front of the parade is our bag piper and the Kings, who are usually being dragged, pulled or carried in one contraption or another by a few worthy Scum. The parade leads the group to the ancient ruins of Princeton Castle where everyone grabs a seat and waits for the initiations to begin. The initiations are usually over by 1AM and afterwards some retreat to a warm sleeping bag while most stay up and: sit by a campfire talking, mingle around the Monks Casino, eat chili, drink beverages, and sing songs.King Robb

Sunday morning there are very few that wake up too early and the afternoon is set aside for river rafting adventures, go cart races, the children's activity centre and Scum earning Serve-Atude dollars. On Sunday evening everyone goes back down to the ruins for another night of fun. On the list of activities are: drama skits, re-initiating the worst Scum, a talent contest, handing out prizes, and playing Human Stratego! In the past, we have played Human Chess, Battleship, and Othello. Each is a popular board game except we use real people holding pie plates full of whipping cream as board pieces. The Kings play against one another ordering pieces to attack others. Eliminated pieces are pied by their opponent and then leave the board to wash their face, etc. Last year we used 48 litres of whipping cream! After the game, again we retire to our campsites where we repeat Saturday night's rituals with the knowledge that many of us will not see each other again for another whole year. Emotions run high (at least in our hearts) and it seems as if there is never enough quality time, like Princeton brings to spend with your friends and family.

Monday everyone helps clean up their campsite and the ruins. And after many teary good-byes we go back to reality.

Who comes to Princeton?

The Knights of Nee are a very diverse group of people. 40% of us are between the ages of 30 and 45. Another 40% are between the ages of 16 and 30, while 7% are under 16 and the remaining 13% are over 45 years old. We all enjoy good clean fun. Drinking moderate amounts of alcohol is OK and enjoyed by most but being rowdy and loud is not. Our club includes retired couples, city counselors, police officers, computer and fantasy gamers, single parents developing relationships with their teenagers, church pastors, and entire families whose young kids can hardly wait till they're old enough to become a Knight!

What facilities are there for camping?

Princeton Castle RV Park can be found a short 2.5 hours away from Vancouver, BC, Canada. It offers the usual range of camping facilities including washrooms, electricity, insects, hot and cold showers, campfires, miniature golf, a not-so crystal pond, and ancient ruins. Princeton Castle also has a number of log cabins for rent and a wonderful bed and breakfast facility. Recently they completed the construction of a bocci and volleyball pit, and a swimming pool. The campground is only 5 minutes from downtown Princeton where you can find last minute camping supplies and stock up on food and drink. There are also a number of decent restaurants to eat at if campfire food conjures up thoughts of too much effort. Nearby, there is also a river that many return to each year for there annual river run. So bring your air mattress!

What is Paintball?

Paintball is the game whereby players don protective goggles and paintball guns primed with round gelatin filled balls that break upon impacting ones opponent. The object of a paintball game usually involves two teams competing for each others flag in a popular childhood game called 'Capture the Flag'. First team back with the other teams flag wins. At Princeton castle there is a large open field, with trees splattered about, which we use to play our games. Friday at around midnight there is usually two or three short games played whereby players wear bright glow sticks to distinguish one another. On Saturday and Sunday at around 12PM another 4 to six games are played for those who prefer the light of day to see their opponents. Paintball is truly a blast and as long you pre-arrange it, you can even rent the equipment you need.

What happens at the initiations? Should my children watch?

Your children will love watching our initiations and then next year they'll be begging you to participate directly (my kids watched last year - they are 2, 4 and 6 years old). The initiations do go on quite late so chances are the young ones won't last the whole night. I brought my babysitter with me so my wife could stay and watch the whole event. After the entire crowd arrives, and a group photo has been taken, and the Kings give the final OK, the initiations will begin. The ruins we hold the initiations in, is rectangular in shape and has no roof. The feeling of being in a castle is quite authentic. There are stage lights, speakers, audio amplifiers, sound effects, banners, suits of armor, and outlandish stage props. The Kings sit on their collective throne in front of the stage where Scum honour their Kings and earn their way to becoming a Knight. The audience sits at tables off to the side of the stage.

The initiations begin with the Monks bringing forward the official sacraments: the Holly Book (yes, it is spelled incorrectly) & the Holy hand grenade. King Robb reads aloud the 'Story of the Knights of Nee' and then describes how the initiations will proceed. One by one, and sometimes in groups ranging from 2 to 6, initiates/Scum are called forward and asked why they want to become a Knight of Nee. Sir Tony signing the Tree of LifeNext, they must answer three skill testing, but easy, questions (Note: knowing the movie 'The Holy Grail' is very helpful here. Be sure to study each and every frame including the correct wording to each of the opening and closing credits, in fact, having the original script at your disposal is also helpful). Unlike the 'Bridge of Death' scene in Monty Python's movie 'The Holy Grail' whereby wrong answers get you tossed into a fiery pit, your benevolent Kings will give you a chance to redeem yourself by performing an initiation or a sacred quest. To decide which initiation a Scum receives they (in the past, initiates got tied to an 8 foot high standing roulette wheel and were spun head over heels until one of the Kings puts a stop to the madness. In some years the wheel has been numbered for initiations, and in other years painted in colors offering up easy to hard initiations. Last year 'The Wheel' was retired to punishments only, so that a new system could be introduced.) must enter a huge spinning exercise wheel, like the kind you find in a hamster cage, and run for their life. The new wheel is attached to a circuit which gauges the speed of the wheel. As the wheel speeds up, display lights change from Red to Yellow and, if you're lucky, Green. The faster you get the wheel to spin the easier your initiation will be. Inside the wheel is a harness system to ensure you don't slip and hurt yourself. Last year one guy ran so fast that centrifugal force allowed him to run upside down! After completing your initiation you will go before your Kings, kneel down upon one knee. King Robb will dub you with his sword, acknowledge the successful completion of your initiation and then grant you your new Knight name. Upon receiving your Knight name you will then rise uttering thy sacred battle cry ... NEE ... and forever more be known as a brave and noble Knight of Nee! The next day you may sign your new Knight name to our 'Tree of Life'.

 

Who are the Kings?

A good question. There are four Kings, or is that three? No wait ... I believe it's actually five. Well anyway they are the original owners of North West Flag Adventures and together they collectively dictate over all the Knights and Scum within their Realm. The Kings started the Knights of Nee club in 1986 to promote a sense of fun and silliness amongst their loyal teammates. Here are our Kings:

 

King Robb("Wayous too Seriousnous")King Robb

King Robb is the Master of Ceremonies during the Initiations. He is the King that gives you your initiation and later dubs you as a Knight. He is also the organizational mastermind behind the Princeton Initiations. When you see King Robb he is likely to be holding a large book with reams of notes hanging out all over the place. Be kind to King Robb cuz' he's likely to be stressed and contrary to what anyone may think, ultimately he calls the shots. Good for Scum to know.

 

King Todd ("Sillious Personous")

King ToddKing Todd is King Robb's older brother. He is also known as the evil King, which is really ironic seeing that he is also the friendliest too. So why do they call him the evil King? King Todd is mischievous to the core and for this reason, amongst others, he is dearly loved. Always be on your guard as many a nipple has been tweaked at the hands of King Todd. You'll find King Todd everywhere as he doesn't stay in any one place for too long. There's too many people to greet and schemes to begin.

King Kevin ("Stillous Singlenous")

King Kevin has his own following as he is truly a rebellious King. Most years King Kevin is trying to steal our magic sceptre or even worse trying to change the name of the team to something stupid like 'Echy, Echy, New-wa-boing'. From Scottish descent, King Kevin and his kilt add a Celtic flavor to the event. The young and rebellious Knights are sure to be in King Kevin's court waving banners of support.

King Dan ("Who?")

King DanKing Dan is the least known or understood of the Kings. He is very quiet and until you see him on stage you wouldn't even know he was a King. Last year, after King Kevin asked King Robb & Todd for their forgiveness for disrupting years of initiations with his rebellious actions, King Dan gained instant notoriety. The rebellion looked for a new leader and I think King Dan liked that. We'll be seeing a lot more of King Dan this year!

King Craig ("Finally Foundous")

King Craig has finally returned to The Realm. Rumor has it a group of frightened Scum sought out King Craig in Princeton '98 as they were terrified of what terrible initiation would befall them since the recent evil transformation of King Robb, King Todd and King Dan.King Craig King Craig's return has, for the first time in 7 years, brought all five Kings together on stage.

 

Who are the Monks?

Monks of NeeWhen the Kings called forward a group of guys from Chilliwack, BC they were elated to see seven friends come forward chanting, wearing habits, carring a huge banner of a sparrow holding a paintball in one foot and a coconut in the other, and offering holy sacraments to honour their Kings. The Monks were the first off shoot of the Knights. Later there would be the Desert Knights and the Nymphs of Nee. They also are usually quieter than most Knights except for The Wizard who is often seen dipping into their Holy Wine more often than he should. The Monks have opened a charity Casino for the entertainment of their fellow Knights. All proceeds are reported to be going to a very worthy cause, however the Monks refuse to say just what this cause is.

 

 

Who are the Nymphs of Nee?

By Paula Turner a.k.a. "Taarna the Defender"

Nymphs of Nee"So," my most Royal Kings asked me, "What exactly does it mean to be a Nymph of Nee, and more to the point, will there be willing naked and nubile slaves to serve the Kings at Princeton this year because of them?" Allow me to answer both of these questions which have plagued Knight-kind for so long.

The Nymphs had their beginning at Princeton '94, and the Kings were intimately involved in even these early stages. In fact, you might even say the Kings started them...

"...So rise, Sir Dirk," intoned Royal King Robb, "and forevermore be known as the Infidel, the noble Knight of Nee!" My former Worthless Vermin Scum partner had successfully risen to the glorious ranks of Knighthood amid much rejoicing and shouts of "Nee!" from his loyal brothers. Then it was my turn. "...So rise... Paula, and be forevermore known as Taarna the Defender, a noble... Knight of Nee!" Cue the rejoicing, cue the "Nee"-ing.

And a dark thought intruded into my mind, an evil thing that should not be at such a joyous occasion as shedding my reviled Scumhood. Women aren't Knights. Only men are. So how could I retain my woman-ness and still belong to the illustrious brotherhood? And then I started thinking...

Man, woman. King, Queen. Lord, Lady. Knight, ?. There was no female equivalent of a Knight. Oh woe, woe! But wait, all was not lost. For in many tales of Knights and valour are Nymphs, these beautiful, beguiling females that distract and captivate loyal Knights from their sacred and noble Quests. You know, the ones who whisk a Knight of to a bower in the woods for weeks on end, trying to make him forget his Quest by weaving spells on him and satisfying his every desire... you get my drift.

So what does it mean to be a Nymph of Nee? It means we get to be part of a great and loyal Knighthood and still keep that special part of us that could never be a Knight, that maddening, beguiling female part just waiting to tempt Knights down the wrong path into the woods. So when you're out on the paintball field and a perfect shot goes awry, or you unknowingly walk into an ambush of forty Worthless Vermin Scums, or find your drink spiked at the Initiations (because, of course, all loyal Knights need to be sober to serve their Kings properly), you know it was the naughty Nymphs of Nee to blame. After all, we are here to serve and distract!

As to the second question, you need to work that out on a one to one basis with the Nymphs."

"They say I'm a Worthless Vermin Scum! What should I do?"

WORRY!No really, it is written in the Holly Book that all subjects within The Realm are considered to be Worthless Vermin Scum before they are transformed into gallant Knights by their most royal and humble Kings. It's nothing personal. Really.

The rite of a Scum is an honoured tradition that all deserving subjects must endure before they may enter the Kingdom of The Knights of Nee, and consequently get to cajole and harass future generations of Scum.

To begin with, you should be aware of the fact that on Sunday night one (or more) Scum will be re-initiated for their lack of loyalty and participation! Throughout the weekend each Scum will be competing to earn Serve-Atude dollars (Scum Bucks) from existing Knights. The Bank of Nee has graciously extended a $200 line-of-credit to each Knight of Nee for the purposes of creating commerce in Scum services. So what is the value of a Scum Buck? The real value of a Scum Buck is dictated by normal market forces. In other words, you must barter for the value of your services; but, if another Scum is willing to do a service for a lower price, then you will lose the sale and risk Judgement Day on Sunday night. The Kings would like to advise all Scum that the bartering process is between you and the Knights and you retain the final right of refusal of any requested service. However, refusing a service requested by a King is, at least potentially, not such a good idea. Finally, on Sunday night, all Scum will be asked to submit their Scum Bucks to their Kings. After a royal reckoning has been done, the Scum(s) with the least amount of Scum Bucks will be re-initiated! The most horrible initiation is routinely held in reserve for this deserving Scum. It should also be noted here that the initiate with the most Scum Bucks & the best attitude will win a prize valued at over $400 real dollars! Your eager participation in the Scum Buck program will certainly bring joy to all Knights within The Realm and your Kings feel that the most worthy Scum should be adequately rewarded.

Other requirements that Scum should be aware of include a $50 fine for the failure of wearing your Scum Badge (excluding showers). The fine may be requested from any Knight who catches a Scum without their Scum Badge. Scum who refuse to pay the fine will be reported to the Kings and punishment is theirs to assign. All Scum who are Knighted during Saturdays initiations are STILL REQUIRED to wear their Scum Badges until the royal collection of Scum Bucks is completed Sunday.

ALL SCUM ARE REQUIRED to participate in a skit to be enacted during Sunday nights Talent Contest. The content and theme of the skit will be announced Saturday night.

On initiation night, each scum will be required to correctly answer three skill-testing questions. If you get them all right you will be immediately Knighted, however, if you get any wrong your gracious Kings will give you a chance to redeem yourself by performing an initiation. Good luck!

Cartoon of what not to do as a scum!

Is Princeton Castle really a Castle?

In the year 871 AD a group of Scottish settlers "Clan McWilliam" discovered this area and built their Castle to fend off a large band of local Indians. No one is quite sure how these Scottish settlers arrived to this area but the legacy of their existence is still with us today. The Ruins were first discovered in 1857 by Lee Howard who was the wagon train master of an expedition from Manitoba on route to California. Many artifacts such as swords, goblets, kilts and jewelry may be found in The National Museum of Portland, Oregon as the expedition was wiped out by a band of Comanche's on the Plains of Monashee. Since the Castles' first discovery, its contents were continually looted by miners and other prospectors to the point where the only remains of the early Scottish settlers are the walls that you see. For more detailed information, just ask Karen at the Bed & Breakfast.

Dear Wizard:

Dear Wizard:I got talked into coming to Princeton this year but I'm afraid to be initiated. My partner says I have nothing to be worried about, but then he laughs and asks if I'm flame retardant. What should I do?

    Worried in Coquitlam

"It sounds like your partner is suffering from Initiation Envy. This is common among post-initiates. It seems that initiations are not as scary as most people have been lead to believe therefor the relieved initiate is determined to taste the fruit of pre-initiation bullying to counter the inadequate size of their genitals. I recommend that you participate in everything Princeton has to offer and have a great time. Initiations only happen once a year. Join the club before the initiations get worse. By the way, if you're not flame retardant, I'm sure the Kings will give you a fireman's suite."

Why does Princeton cost soooo much money? I remember when it cost $45. If prices keep going up I'm afraid me and my friends wont be coming back.

    Retentive in Alberta

"It sounds to me like you're a whiner. This year our event is only $100 per person ($90 if you get your payment in before July 15th) and children under 16 are free! That's $33/day/person. Yes it costs more than 7 years ago but then our event has grown leaps and bounds in terms of production and complexity. All, I might add, in an effort to improve your enjoyment. The Knights of Nee is not a profit driven entity. Until last year, our club has lost money every year and planning for break-even has the very real potential of leaving debt in the hands of The Committee. Do you realize that over 20 people (The Committee) have been working for 8 months to bring you this years event? Not one of these people is getting paid for their efforts! Imagine the cost of this event if all that labour wasn't free? To suggest that the event is too expensive completely de-values their efforts. Myself personally, I have never taken such a cheap vacation with or without all the entertainment and prizes. By the way, what kind of price do you put on friendship and fun anyway?"

Scum and Knights Testimonials

Andrea Murphy - AKA Scum wannabe

Name:
Andrea Murphy
Still Scum

Age:
25

Occupation:
Domestic Engineer

Before my husband and I got to know The Knights our lives seemed socially void. We had few friends, no life outside the house, and the only name calling we heard was "Mom!" and "Dad!". Last year my husband, who is already a Knight, convinced my to attend the Princeton event. Today we are better known as 'The Druid' and future Scum. That's right. This year I'm going to be initiated! What can I say, life is wonderful because of the Knights of Nee.

         

Driving the lower mainland for a living, I see lots of people. The other day while cruising past Metrotown I hear, NEE! I quickly look about and see a Knight waving to me. I wave and NEE back at him and continue on my way. Shortly there after, at an intersection, the car next to me honks. I look over, it's another Knight. NEE and off I go. Not an hour later, stopped at another light, the call comes out NEE! Sure enough itís a brave Knight. This was great seeing every one NEEing at me, but wait! On my way out of Vancouver some one is honking at me again. I peer into my rear view mirror and see King Robb and Todd. As a Knight, you're not alone.

Name:

Drew Fulton
"The Gunslinger"

Age:
18 w/22 years experience

Occupation:
Courier

Sir Drew - Can't go anywhere without people saying NEE to me!

         

Nancy Halley from Hawaii

Name:
Nancy Halley
"Lady Lei"

Age:
38

Occupation:
Self Employed

I traveled from afar (from Maui, Hawaii) to witness the great Festival of Nee. I was picturing a frat house, but received group support, chivalry, and cheers of "Spin her, Spin her!" It was rather dramatic - in a make believe way. Everyone at the gathering was new to me, and everyone was very polite and lots of fun. I'll be back. I miss my Kings, Knights, and Ladies. Once you're initiated into the great order of the Knights of Nee, no one can take that away from you! Aloha kuu ipos!

         

This club is ageless, I wish I was. Talk about the old sayings THE ASYLUM IS RUN BY THE INMATES this group is run by 5 KINGS who make the nutty professor look like he should win the Nobel Prize for Inventor of the Century. After 2 years of being a spectator at the Princeton Initiations, 8 years ago my wife (The Caretaker) and I (The Mentor) were knighted and became mature but active members of the shenanigans. It is not essential that you are crazy to join the club but it is a definite asset. See you in Princeton.

Name:
Tom Jones
"The Mentor"

Age:
Retired

Occupation:
Cruising for fun in my 40 ft. RV

Sir Tom - Retired and still having fun!

         

Robin Attfield - Looks forward to Princeton every year

Name:
Robin Attfield

"The Sparrow"

Age:
11

Occupation:
Grade 5

Hi my name is sparrow. Well thatís my new Knight name. My real name is Robin. The things I like about Princeton the most are: I like making sure the Kingís are fine. Watching the initiations always makes me laugh. Last year I drove the Royal Mint go-cart. It was fun. At Princeton initiations you can earn Scum bucks and spend them at the casino or you can pay scum to push your go-cart. I can hardly wait for Princeton 1999. See you there. NEE!

         

We started as a business sponsor and were immediately drawn by the enjoyment of the participants. After joining the Knight's and partaking of the fun and excitement, we wanted to return year after year despite the 1500 miles from LA to enjoy the companionship and commotion. The fun gets better every year as we all grow in maturity and friendship. Princeton is a habit worth starting.

Name:
John Barber
"The Jester"

Age:
36

Occupation:
Network Engineer

Sir John - The Jester from California

         

Sir Ryan - Thought he was going to get shot out from a canon last year! It was a close call.

Name:
Ryan Gartner

"The Dead Poet"

Age:
17

Occupation:
Grade 11

I was a little apprehensive about going to Princeton as I knew only two Knights and I was sure I would receive 'an initiation from Hell!'. To my surprise, I returned home with over 150 "Pals 4 Life" and my initiation scared the audience more than me. Now I'll travel from Calgary every year, cause there ain't nothin' like Da Knights of NEE!!

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